and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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