He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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