I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
