he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
