He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
