Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize