my vag is so smooth its legendary
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
