he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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