is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
