Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
