just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
