Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
