when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
