I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
