My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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