I hope mine doesn't look like that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
