Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
