oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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