My hand turned me down
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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