I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
