can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
