Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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