I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
