All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
