Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
