Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
