I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
