wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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