yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
