How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
