she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
