Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
