At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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