You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
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He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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