were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
