Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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