Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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