he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
