what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im holly from the hills drunk
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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