Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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