Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
