Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Pooping to opera.
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