Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
