the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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