now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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