It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
