I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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