Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
