who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
