My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
