Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
