It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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