im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
