Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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