her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
