It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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