Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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