I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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