hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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