Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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