I'm going to jail i love you
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
