Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
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All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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