btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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