I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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