I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
