Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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