so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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