So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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