I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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