Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize